I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
