I just pynch a tree in the face
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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