Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
