Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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