just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
