i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
