Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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