i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
