its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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