Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
