like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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