I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
