Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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