it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize