i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
