I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Semen is not good for contacts.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
