i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
