Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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