Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
