no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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