i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
