lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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