You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
