her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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