I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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