tell your sister to shave her snatch
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
