I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
