playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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