I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
