It's Friday. Sex?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
