just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I have post one night stand depression
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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