I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
