the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
