He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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