I feel like abortions should bother me more
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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