i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
