Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
