you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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