we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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