why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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