Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
