cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
