Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
