the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you will always have a special place in my vag
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
