His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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