Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize