Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
