I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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