For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
