Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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