her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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