If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
