Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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