Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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