Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
