I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
