You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
