Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
