Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
