wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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