We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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