Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
