when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
