the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
