I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Send help, water and tortillas.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize