Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
