would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
