O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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