I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize