I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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