i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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