My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize