Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
