All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Couch. On fire.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
