North Korea, Best Korea!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
