I just saw a hot homeless man
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
