trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
