like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
